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An incident in the 'New Normal'

Today when I stepped out of my house wearing my not soo comfortable face mask, just hoping that it's uncomfort will protect me from the deadly Corona virus. I remembered the days of my childhood when my mother would forcibly make me wear the mask to protect me from the increasing dust pollution caused by the extraction of mines in Goa. 
I always rebelled to wear the mask then just because it made me look like a weirdo among those millions of people who were least affected by this mere environmental change but I? I had to wear my mask because unfortunately or fortunate enough to say as it did come with a lot of benefits, I was born an asthmatic and to add to it were my multiple, unusual, strange allergies. It did not end here because later sinusitis also showed up because asthma and allergies weren't enough. 
The mask today is become an essential part of our life. 
All you lovely people out there suffering from various respiratory issues from birth I can totally empathize with you…

Kind of mind

I wonder if human's exist I wonder if there is humanity
I don't know why I feel this  But I honestly don't feel humanity exists. 
I feel all I see around me are human like being's  But they aren't really human's.  Then what are they?  They are minds....  Just different kinds of minds. 
Minds that say they love me,  But honestly they really don't even care about me.  Minds that I consider to be my best friends,  But they really aren't.  Minds that say they'll always be there for me,  But are never there in the times I need them the most and probably leave me alone when I least expect it.  Minds... 
Minds that have their own different perception of what is rational and irrational Quite often their rationality and irrationality is shaped by the society we all live in. 
I don't want to fit into every mind's perception of rationality.  I am rational in my own ways and I am happy being just a mind. 
A mind that is not soo affected by the so called society I live in,  …

I want to BREATHE..

Is it too much to ask to breathe?  Yes! Breathe.
Breathe the air, I want to breathe.  Breathe the thoughts I want to breath. 
Breathe just like the human that I am. 

I don't want to breathe the air around me,  It makes me feel suffocated. 
I don't want to breathe the thoughts around me,  They are filled with soo much of negative energy. 
They say take my mindset,  But with a pinch of salt.  I don't need the salt neither do I need your mindset. 

Is it really soo bad,  If I have my own mindset and not follow what the society wants? 
Why is my mind so dominated with your thoughts?  That I feel like my brain is rusting, 
Because I've barely used it. 
My inner voice.  Dominated by thoughts that make you happy,  Rather than really telling me about my own happiness.

All I want is to just breathe.
Breathe the air I really want to breathe. 
Breathe the air filled with smiles of positive energy. 
Just breathe coz what's the use of breathing without any passion just for the sake of living? 

My Mother

My Mother

My mother kept a garden,
A garden of the heart,
She planted all the good things,
That gave my life it's start.

She turned me to the sunshine,
And encouraged me to dream,
Fostering and nurturing,
The seeds of self-esteem.

And when the winds and rains came,
She protected me enough,
But not too much because she knew,
I'd need to stand up strong and tough.

Her constant good examples,
Always taught me right and wrong,
Markers of my path way,
That will last lifetime long.

I am my mother's garden,
I am her legacy,
And I hope she feels the love,
Reflected back from me!

The fact that i am a GIRL

The fact that I am a Girl

     Never before had I ever experienced the fact of discrimination between a girl and a boy. Only because I myself kept my eyes shut to this fact.

    I live in India where this fact is commonly practiced and more so in South Goa. I have lived my life in this so called typical MASCARENHAS family from South Goa. In which a girl and a boy can never ever in their life be best friends but are always seen as a couple. Where a girl with intimate male friends is thought of as being a slut. Where your family thinks that even your Rakhi brother can't be safe for you. Where your family feels that you're not safe even with your own male cousins and elder brothers. Where the family feels that having a boyfriend before the age of 21 is a crime and that every boy out there is waiting to take advantage of your goodness.

    I am a girl. A girl who loves to do everything a boy can do. A girl who loves to have male friends despite having her female friends. A girl wh…

2019

2019!
A year full of surprises and new instances of life. The year began with a lot of expectations,some fullfilled some yet to be fullfilled. It began with some tension of the nearing HSSCE board examinations. The tension even more due to my failure in the preliminary examination. The inability to score high and the laziness of not studying did have a strong bond. The excitement of being legal and the childish me wanting to go back to my childhood.

A year full of achievements that made the path towards my dreams. Achievements that turned my dreams into reality. Confidence that helped me face the demon within me. Courage to face this cruel society we all live in. Love that bonded many broken relationships in my life, that gave birth to some new relationships probably not of blood but of feelings and emotions. Problems that taught me how to find my own solutions in life. This life isn't easy but yes it isn't that tough either.

This year has taken me through many crossroads wh…